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damn virus!got 10 offline msgs saying "what the hell is going on with your MSN", clean it up! sorry guys....i had no idea what was going on, someone told me changing log-in password could be helpful, but i've been using that password for 9 years!!!! it means something to me, now i have to give it up...it really pisses me off, MSN has been acting funky and easily getting infected. is it a good thing or bad thing? does it mean so many people are using it, so virus producers think it's more effective to attact it? or MSN security software is just too weak? initiated by this damn virus sening weird msg to every single contact on my list, i've got back in touch with a few old old childhood friends, memory came back, partially blurry. most of them don't recognize me through the pictures, saying i've changed a lot, i think they changed a lot, too. it's the world that's passing us so quickly , quietly, leaving us wake up one day, and boo, 10 years are gone. thanks, virus, thanks... what happenedhad gf's daughter S staying with me over the wkd. she's only 13, very talented in music and super sweet. her freshness reminded me how simple life was like when i was younger. this morning i checked work email as usual. a customer's email brought the shocking sad news, her PI passed away in a single car accident last friday night, it happened to be the date that he wanted me to call him and follow up, we just spoke 2 weeks ago. did he plan this?? i can't think. what am i going to say to her? "sorry about your loss, but will you please just carry on and go ahead with the purchase? Quickly?" it's awkward and depressing, during this recession time period! got into my car and started to drive, i saw a post-it note left by S, saying she was thankful for me having her this past wkd, and how much she appreciated the time we spent together. this lovely, warm and sweet little girl，made me realize how cold i've changed to during these years working. and i found my words to say to my customer, "i'm sorry and please take it easy".
the whole morning i could not bring my brain back to function, no matter how many coffees to have. Teammate J and I tried everthing we could to bring a discontinued instrument back to live at the office for a demo tmr and friday. we were still missing a few parts 'til early afternoon, and nobody knew where they were!! it was supposed to be here in the morning. we were about to call it off...following consequences will be quarter million consumables going to the waste. not to mention these couple of months' long-day and stressful work. drama finally left us alone, shipping company found the parts that were lost in transition, they were forced to deliver o/n so J can have it tmr morning...
it's a month of pain, don't know how i got this far, life and work are disconnected, what happened to living a life to the fullness? Striking chords to rock the jazz worldClose your eyes, and listen. it can happenbeing pissed off by S, i cancelled the date for the night. i can't pretend that i'm not disappointed. 六年 临走的时候你说，不知道什么时候才能再见，我们说大家都要好好保重。你下车后我习惯性的挥手，踩油门离开，心里猛地难受，这几年一个人忙着奔跑，刻意去忽略曾有好友在身边的温暖。有什么办法呢？想阿毛，想1115，想1120。 The Scientistdoes anyone know where yesterday went? if you could rewind life, which part would you like to play again? where do you want it to stop? he diedChip died on thursday night, that's all the information i've heard so far. the last news i heard about him was that a few months ago he got high scores for MCAT, and he was preparing for interviews. he was one of the few good students in Genetics lab i taught last quarter, one of the few great friends that i had in that small little town, one of the few who weren't limited to local religion, local group, and local culture, one of the few with whom i laughed my tears out, one of the few who helped me to move pieces of big furnitures out of my apt when i was left alone to deal with a big mess. M emailed me, 'kiddo, i have a photo of you and Chip after your graduation. you put your fists together. his hand dwarfed yours. it's a great photo." saw a happy movie "Mr. Magorium's wonder Emporium" last night, when Mr. Magorium was about to die, he left his last words to Mahoney. it's finally sinking in, and it's painful. "when King Lear dies in Act Five do you know what William Shakespeare has written? he's written: He Dies. that's all, nothing more. no fan fare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. the culmination of the most influential work of the dramatic literature is, he dies. it takes Shakespeare's genius to come up with, he dies. and yet every time i read those two words i find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. and i know its only natural to be sad, but not because of the words he dies, but because of the life we saw prior to the words. i've lived all five of my acts Mahoney and i am not asking you to be happy that i must go. i'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading, and let the next story begin. and if anyone ever asks what became of me you repay my life in all its wander, and it with a simple, and modest, he died. ... your life is an occasion, rise to it." a song kept on playing in my head all day, it's from a movie talking about a little girl experienced losing her best friend. march听到几个朋友家人突然过世的消息，心里挺堵，想说点儿有用的话，想来想去，说什么都没用. 人生无常，节哀顺便，亲爱的。 好像昨天才在广场看新年烟火，这马上就38了。。。日子哗哗的流过去，身边的人哗哗的来来往往。见了ZM, 比以前开心很多，却不是很能吃辣。。。  。。。敬佩大脑的神奇，短期内不曾打搅的１０年前的记忆在小小的一块儿地方被保存的完完整整。打了电话给FL, 很多很多很多很多年没联系了，初中高中坐前后一起上课一起课间吃早餐一起上厕所一起八卦一起走神听教室外音像店放林忆莲一起吃夜市一起滑旱冰一起笑一起长大的FL, 孩儿她妈了都！丫头长的很健康，眉毛像DZL,（小新也有同样的眉毛啊...表打我! :D) 很想捏一下娃娃的脸！祝rolly-polly宝宝健康成长，长大表像咱高中内会儿那么疯。很高兴打了电话给你。 最近很迷Amy Winehouse, 这个年轻女子是近２０年最惊人的歌手之一，才华横溢，聪明伶俐，嗜毒成性举世瞩目．有点儿像被烟熏了嗓子的Billie Holiday. She needs drugs, we need her music as the powerful drug to survive this crazy crazy world. I do. C离开了，他的座位第二天就被K填上，虽然K体型较大，我却觉的那个位子空荡无比． 让软弱的我们懂得残忍, 狠狠面对人生每次寒冷, 依依不舍的爱过的人, 往往有缘没有份. Sweet dreams, butter. i told you i was troublei'd rather have cat aids...  "People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid." --Mark "Rent-boy" Renton, Trainspotting |
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